Thanks for sharing your story. I feel like I can relate to a few of the things you brought up, even though my abuse happened when I was 22.
I don't consider myself Christian (or any other religion), but the main thing that I took from my experience was the sense of some sort of God being involved and that I wasn't alone in it. I have some pretty strong beliefs that I've come to realise through the things I've seen.
I can't speak for anybody else, but I think in my life, the horrible things I went through eventually healed a lot of the things that had been wrong with me to begin with.
I completely understand what you mean when you said it's a privelege to be here
You seem to be doing so well and I think sometimes we have to just keep going and doing our best and trust that we're headed the right way.