Hi aksnowyowl.

I kinda see a bit of me in him.
We need to start by saying that as a survivor, often the concept of love is a strange one, I was told by so many abusers that they love me and that love was painful and hurt me. So it could be that your husband has a "Better" concept of love and that is duty. Duty cant be perverted, but to us love can be perverted. So it might be In his world that he is doing you a great service. Sounds crazy, but this is our life.
rigid structure to our lives because it means that we have control. Of course the need to be in control is a great survivor trait, it is something that we never had as children, so it is something that we seek as adults.
All the other traits are survivor trait fear of crowds etc.

My big question is, IS he in therapy for the CSA, and more so is he a survivor or are you looking for answers.

Each person is different, but we all have huge similarities, so ask as many questions as you need too, and, Well, Welcome to the forum, I hope that we gave you some ideas here, and i hope that it helped.

Heal well
Martin
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