Being married does not mean intimacy, necessarily. There is a line from an old country song that I have repeated many times "If I am going to live alone, I'd rather do it by myself". Classic wounded behavior for an abused person is to keep the spouse locked out, door barred, to their true self. They may do lots of normal couple things, ie sex, social events, children, but the vulnerable walled off inner self remains isolated from anyone, everyone, 'safe' from all harm and judgement. Not safe, of course,
but surely miserable.
My first husband had been cruelly abused by his older brother- sexually and in so many other ways. The parents turned a blind eye, especially Mom, who told me 'Boys will be Boys' when I brought up my husbands obvious scars. In 15 years of marrage, I only really saw him 2 times. The door was slammed shut in seconds. We divorced a year after he told me he would rather do so than see a councilor. Only later did I discover that his picture of councelling was a man standing over him, shaking his finger and telling H all the ways he was wrong and bad. I still pray for him. He was/is a good man in so much pain.