Well, we had this discussion before so you know I don't really agree with your analyzis. I feel the need to answer since you made a completely different point from what I wrote before than I do.
"it is as if the female sterriotype is held up as an ideal which women are free to choose or not, and either choice is held as right."
I think this sentence is quite illustrative to where we differ in opinion. What I see around me is not that the female steriotype is a free choise, rather that girls are taught from birth how to be in a way that gets really into their identity (just like boys are), and then when the girls rebel against this they meet all kinds of bad reactions but they do anyway and they organize because the female stereotype is just so restricting may of them can't live with it. I could give you facts and figures as to how the structural opression of women still happens but I don't have the time right now.
One point I want to make is, that obviously you don't recognize the ways that women are put down when chosing not to live by their female stereotype. This could be because they're not put down, but it could also be because you just don't have the personal experience and therefore do not se it when it happens. Just like so many women don't understand why it is a big difficult thing for a guy to have a "girly" drink in public. They don't see the problem because it doesn't happen to them.
This link is to an article about comparing identities that I just read. Maybe it would be interesting to you. Personally I think that male survivors would benefit from greater understanding from other groups, but I don't think we reach that by comparing with the struggles of women and minimizing the womens movement. Instead I think we should respect the womens movement and find the common grounds were we have the same interests. http://yrwelcome.wordpress.com/2011/09/28/on-fat-trans-and-the-pitfalls-of-comparing-identities/