I think I have asked variants of this question several times - but I am learning as I go and I might be able to articulate my question clearly at this point.
I get it - control is important for a survivor.
But here's my question... why control when it relates to perceived self destructive activities?
Some context... it's okay to have an opinion around here about cars, clothes, education, children, dinner... but when you have an opinion about alcohol, drugs, extramarital affairs, drunk driving, and general self destruction, then the C word rears its ugly head. Then it becomes a contest, then there's a fight. WHY???? If you want control, then control away. But why does it seem (at least here), that the control battle is fought ONLY on topics of negative consequences?