I am a "fixer' and a bad one at that. I am controlling but am trying to dial it back and let him go at his own pace. I am smothering, but the activities he calls "smothering" are activities I have always done, so there, I am at a lost.

But can a survivor answer this: My husband will bucket dump all the awful thoughts in his head when he is in the mood to share (which isn't often). He gets upset if I get upset, but then I am hearing pretty awful stuff. I don't know what to say when he is like this. I know he just wants to feel bad and have someone listen, but I feel like an idiot saying nothing.

What are you, as a survivor, looking for in response when venting these really disturbing thoughts on your partner?