"I don't like the thought of my adult sexuality being influenced by bad things that were done to me when I was young is all. It doesn't make me feel free as a human being."
It was thoughts such as these that riveted me with doubt and disavowal. I thought that surely the desire I felt for other men was strictly visual, or mainly sexual, and for several years I maintained primary relationships with women and participated only sexually with other males. As my youth yeilded to a more adult life I became less tolerant of other outside opinions and the still small voice inside me became a whisper of such intensity that it commanded the mountains and the wind. I began to believe not only that I was genuinely capable of male on male love, but that I desired nothing else. No conterfeit would do, as I approached thirty it became obvious that I no longer shared any shame for lust of male forms, or for the emotional love of the male sex. My affirmation that I was now "out" coupled with men for the remainder of my life.
Edited by bodyguard8367 (08/08/12 01:17 PM)
Edit Reason: spelling