As bisexual but straight identified (sorry I know that's a mouthful) I have often wondered whether my bisexual tendencies come naturally or if they are a product of sexual abuse. As a young boy, like between 10 and 12, I found myself attracted almost equally to both girls and boys my own age but when I became a teenager my attraction toward males waned until after I was sexually abused, at which time I began to sexually experiment with males, even though my main attraction was to females and still is. The thing is there is a certain detachment and lack of connection to my sexual encounters with other men that doesn't exist when I am with women. Often I am living out my abuse through anonymous sex with men so this is definately abuse related, but that said I still enjoy the sex so its got me quite confused as to whether this is healthy or not. Please understand that I feel no shame in being bisexual. If I could convince myself that it is 100% naturally who I am that would be fine. I just don't like the thought of my adult sexuality being influenced by bad things that were done to me when I was young is all. It doesn't make me feel free as a human being.
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