This is interesting question and I asked it to myself many times few years ago. In that time I did some research and found some articles and studies about development of sexual orientation – it stated that there are still many open issues and unknown facts about it, since it is pretty complex subject that can be viewed from many different layers and angles. So in short- conclusion was that sexual orientation is developing or forming pretty early so that when is already formed we are still not aware of it (if I remember well it was somewhere up to 2 -3 years of life).
Another question is why some people are straight, bi and gay – there is no clear answer. In some cases there were some kind of genetic predispositions ie. there are cases of families that have for example much more gay members that can be explained only by genetics. There are some studies that claim that in some cases mother’s genetic is influencing orientation of their sons etc., in general there is no clear and unique answer since many factors have to be included…
On the other hand human sexuality is highly individual and is basically defined in our brain which is one of the most complex organs ever developed in nature – basically there are no two persons with identical sexuality which is very interesting when you think about it.
CSA of course makes things much more complicated because it makes confusion on basic physical, emotional, sexual, psychological aspects of person.
For me was important to understand myself on basic level – the fact is that I am much more sexually attracted to guys on permanent level; all other things that are coming from CSA (compulsory behavior, conflicting sexual desires, no borders, fears, hyper sexuality, problems with orgasm, erection, sleeping etc. list go on lol …) are not so important because this is something that is very stable and very deeply rooted in my identity and is not changeable. And when I accepted this it felt actually good.
Why am I gay – well I do not know to be honest, what is important to me is that I feel very good who I am and could not imagine to be different.
Edited by Ivo (08/08/12 04:32 AM)