Strapper, welcome! While naturally I don't know your father or step-father, I can say with certainty that their reasons were about them, not you. It wasn't because there was something wrong with you or that you could have changed or been different and pleased them. It wasn't your fault, and regardless of what went on their heads, you deserved better. What they did was inexcusable, you had rights and deserved love and respect. I'm sure you're fine as you are and quite 'real' enough. Understanding and connecting with your feelings and examining the false messages the abuse sent to you will go a long way towards undoing the damage.
Edited by Vadrian (08/04/12 09:10 PM)