I only narrowly avoided attending a Catholic school myself; I can imagine how horrible that must have been for you. But ultimately, my parents both had different religions and didn't raise me and my siblings in either of them. Yet they and my brother shared a deeper, cultural homophobia among them that went beyond any of that.
Sadly at the same time as gay marriage recently passed in New York, the democratic mayor cut funding for gay homeless youth services in half despite the demand going up. In disproportionately high numbers, GLBT youth are being thrown out of their abusive homes and are living on the streets, often being exploited sexually. Neither presidential candidate nor the federal government is interested in addressing this. What good is marriage if you're a teenage prostitute with no place to live and no future? People don't even bother to protest against the idea of the economic rights of GLBT people who have been thrown out of society, they are just ignored.
Anyway, I bring that up because that's something I've dealt with, economic consequences of cultural homophobia. The abuse definitely made it impossible for me to come out before I was 20 years old, and then healthy relationships were a long way off still. I've never felt very connected to either gender label myself. I think it's understandable, Cloudy, that you feel you are both genders at the same time, they are people in the world who will accept for however you are or want to be, even if it isn't your father or mitt romney.