I was invisible, but not to “them”. They found me somehow when I was 6 and they used me.
They lied to me, they said they “loved” me and they wanted me.
It was a lie and I believed it because I was little and I trusted them. They were nice at first.
I was invisible at home. I did not feel wanted or much love there. I was not even supposed to be born, but I was. My mom loved me, but sometimes she was invisible too.
I was invisible at home, except if I was bad, then I was visible. I got hit and called bad things till it was over. I could be invisible again.
They found me wandering, needing to be loved by someone, anyone. I was little and I was their target.
They threatened me and then they taught me bad things. They told me that “it” was all I was good for. I was visible to them. I believed them. I was little.
I was invisible at school. I was sad and lonely and invisible. So I acted out for them. I learned to do as I was told.
Their love was fake, but fake was better then nothing.
I grew up sad and angry, and I stayed invisible.
Years passed and no one saw me.
Then, I became visible. She could see me when I was still invisible to others. She rescued me. She is my miracle.
She taught me I was lied to. Taught me that I am not defined by abuse.
She taught me it does not matter where I have been, only where I am going.
She taught me I have value and showed me I am loved.
She showed me “they” did not take all of my innocence. Some part of me is still a boy and I still have that inside. That part will always be safe, I will make sure of that now.
I learned to forgive because if frees me even more. The bad people are still responsible.
I learned I still have a lot to sort but I am sorting now.
I am young and old at the same time. I still hurt because I cannot understand some things.
But, I will find a safe place in the world now. I will be who I was meant to be.
I will live, and “they” will not have won. I am visible, and I will be free!
The Spirit says to quietly stand, follow His pace and guiding hand.
Some days I feel invisible still, as false friends slam me with judgments still. Angry, stupid, thoughtless boy, but now their words won't take my joy.
I am new, and they do not see, the person who was always me. My counselor says I'll be totally free. I believe in her, because she believes in me!
Edited by BuffaloCO (10/30/12 01:24 PM)
Lao Tzu said: "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."