I have been married for almost 8 years, and my wife has known about my abuse for around 7 years. There have been many ups and downs in our marriage and most of it has centered around my abuse or many half assed attempts to deal with it. I have gotten helped many times in the past, and recently have broken some ground by telling my parents. One of the biggest issue my wife and I are still having is my lack of sexual desire. I like sex once we get into the act, but it is really like pulling nails to get me there. I make lots of excuses for not wanting to have sex, but I mainly just can't sustain that desire for sex. It may be there occasionally but y drive is inconstant and deteriorates pretty quickly. I will come home every day saying that I am going to do it (have sex) but by the time I walk in the door the want leaves me. Has anyone delt with this, and do you have any suggestion with how to deal with this. I know it is because of my abuse and not medical, but I just can't seem to move forward. I think my wife has had enough of it. She is at the point of either accepting having little sex for the rest of her life, or moving on in her life without me. I can't really blame her, who want to have a sexless marriage! I love my wife and want to make her happy, but how can I do that when I am not truly happy with myself.

Shields