I am sorry about your situation. Unfortunately this is more common than I would have expected. I read and talk to people about the emotional incest, covert incest or whatever other title it is given. It is sad, children are used to pit a parent against the other. Sadly, the child does not know he/she is being used and in many cases the exploiting parent believes it is appropriate because they have lived the same boundaries--but the the extent or depth of the acts can vary significantly--from ostracizing a parent or forcing a parent away from the dinner table and blaming him/her for being the problem to outright abuse--spying, snooping, sharing intimate details of the parents lives--no matter it harms the child forever. The behavior will be repeated because it is learned behavior. An adult should take account of their actions and never pit a child against a parent--once done the child suffers the most damage--he/she looses a sense of self and a relationship with the other parent.
So I am glad you are better but unless their mother gets help and recognizes the damage she continues to do, she will never change. But sadly, she probably thinks she is hurting you but in the end it is the child who suffers and looses--and what a sad lesson the child has learned. Because, I bet she will "tell you the way it is" or "she is right and you are the problem"--repeated over and over and over and always in front of the children.
I totally understand your situation. Keep going.
Edited by KMCINVA (07/27/12 01:07 PM)