I guess most of you have read enough postings I left by now to know that I identify as gay. I wonder how many of us were initiated into sexual behavior as children and then identified as GLBT later in life. I was initiated into incest and then sexual molestation by my siblings and an older perpatrator. I used to think that my abuse "caused" my sexual orientation. Today I don't really feel that way.
I feel like it is the way I was born and that if I had not been molested or raped I would still be gay.
After many years I have reached a place where I am out.
Out at work, out at home, out on the town, I am married to another guy and everyone I know knows that I am gay. Today I refuse to be ashamed of myself for liking to have sex with men. I refuse to be ashamed of my relationship because I am in love with another man.
Do you other survivors find it difficult to maintain and access your feelings of love? Do you find it "normal" to be gay? Do you yourselves ever wish you could be gay without repercusions? That is how I felt for years.