Life's A dream, great post; I can really relate. My older brother perversely spanked me as part of his sexual abuse, and I later developed a spanking fetish as a result. Recently I recovered repressed memories about this happening for the first time, and now I'm starting to feel myself really pull away from those masochistic fantasies that were all tied back to him. Lately I found that this sort of porn started to hurt me emotionally and even caused more flashbacks to sexual abuse when I looked at it. I also developed a diaper fetish as a child from abusive incidents.
You're so right that these aren't just 'coincidences,' the deeper I delve into the reality of my past and examine how it's effected my life, the less coincidences I see in general. Like you, I also have outside evidence to prove my repressed memories are definitely true, not that I need that proof anymore since I beleive myself 100%. But both this and the imprinting are definitely real and valid.
Edited by Vadrian (07/15/12 01:59 AM)