After I was gang-raped I was referred by a well-meaning therapist to a rape survivor group. I was treated far worse by those women than any other place I've ever been or by those I've told. I was treated like filth, as told my presence was offensive. I attempted suicide after that and spend many more months in a psych hospital and it inhibited me from telling anyone or trying to get help for almost a decade.
And this is EXACTLY why I held out for over a year about even DEALING with the rape. This is EXACTLY why I just about needed to be dragged by the arm into a therapist's office, and this is EXACTLY why I have NEVER tried to actually find one of these 'support' groups! This is it EXACTLY.
I'm so so SO sorry you had to deal with that kind of crap. It just makes an already bad situation even worse. The entire proffessional community really needs to start treating this issue with the same kind of seriousness as they treat the females. They don't send girls to a boys' support group for CSA, then why the HELL are they sending men to a women's support group for ASA?! This is simple logic!
I don't know. This has been a hot topic for me lately, so I have been trying to limit my posting on it. My own T openly stated he wasn't a specialist in my "area" but that he would try his best and that I could feel free to drop him at any time. And then went on to tell me that he would try to help me but that he is also looking to try and find a "specialist" to deal with me.
Rargh! And this guy is so far the ONLY one we've been to that I'm even partially comfortable in front of. Seriously. I feel like I'm taking the scraps left over from the evening meal because "at least it's something and something is better than nothing."
It pisses me off. Why the hell should we have to take hand-me-downs or less-than-we-need just because of our gender. No excuse. None. Society needs to get off it's collective duff and face the music eventually.
I was told very recently that I must not have fought hard enough if "let" them do that to me/us.
What the HELL?! I'm barely walking, mine and my sis's medical records could fill a couple of three inch binders from this assault, and someone - ANYONE - dares to even SUGGEST that I might not have fought 'hard enough', let alone suggest that I *LET* anyone do it?!
I quite literally decked the guy in the mouth. I knocked him right over off his feet before I left. I lost my temper. I keep expecting the cops to show up but they haven't yet, so maybe he won't be bothering to call them. I don't know. But I have about had it up to here with people treating this issue as a fucking joke or trying to sweep it under the rug.
There will be NO recognition if we don't TALK about it. So I have started to try and talk about it, at least a little bit. I know stuff like what was said to me will be par for the course for a while, but this particular individual KNEW better. He's known me for thirty fucking years of my life.
I wish to hell that anyone who hears the words "I was raped" out of someone's mouth would shut the hell up and LISTEN! Especially if those words are coming out of a man's mouth - we DON'T admit that crap easily or carelessly! If we're telling someone, it's because we have a huge amount of trust in them, that is sticking our necks WAY out there to be chopped off!
Sorry. I'll shut this off now. I think I'm ranting, and I sincerely apologize if I have been. Just very frustrated with this lately. I feel as though we are told on one hand to open our mouths and talk about it and then on the other hand the second we do we get slapped across the face and told that we aren't SUPPOSED to talk about it.
I think this is another thing that should go into the list of things I wish people knew about ASA. There are so damn many conflicting signals out there that at least for me, it's hard to tell what end is up and what end is down, and it's damn hard to figure out who I can trust enough to talk to, and it's confusing as HELL to figure out when I should talk and I when I should just shut up and put up with it.... *sighs*
Shutting up now.