Originally Posted By: theredhairedcrow

I wish people, even rape groups and supporters and sorry some of the dreaded feminists who disbelieve men who've been raped as having the same negative aftereffects, would understand rape is terrible for anyone. After I was gang-raped I was referred by a well-meaning therapist to a rape survivor group. I was treated far worse by those women than any other place I've ever been or by those I've told. I was treated like filth, as told my presence was offensive. I attempted suicide after that and spend many more months in a psych hospital and it inhibited me from telling anyone or trying to get help for almost a decade.


I am so sorry you had to go through that in addition to the rape, which is horrible enough by itself. It is cruel whenever a survivor receives even more abuse but this time, it is abuse under the label of "professional help" and a "support group." When the "help" offered to survivors is more like abuse, who would be surprised if it is a hindrance to receiving more help.

It kind of bugs me that the field of advocacy for sexual abuse/assault victims seems to be synonymous with the feminist movement. Even a lot of the rhetoric aimed at male survivors seems to be geared toward the idea that there is somehow something wrong with a man wanting to be strong, powerful, and in control of himself. My T is always saying that I need to be more in touch with my feelings and accept that it is OK to be vulnerable. I guess he is trying to help me to understand that being raped doesn't make me less of a man, but why do I have to be a whiny little pansy in order to get that point? I don't know. Maybe this is a topic for a different thread.

I have heard from a lot of gay survivors that being gay adds another layer of guilt onto the experience of assault, because there is this idea that because one is gay they must have somehow wanted it. Which doesn't make any sense. Not all straight women are attracted to all men, yet it isn't assumed that since a women is straight, she must have "enjoyed" or "wanted" to be raped by a man. So many double standards.
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“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross