Its funny, I have not been in the gay world very long. Its remarkable to come to this world so late in the game, I am 50+, but what i see is not so different from what many of us survivors experience.
Gay men:
- have trouble with expressing their needs then get frustrated and over react. I have seen the elton john video and i remember freddie mercury almost kicking a roady at a queen concert.
- are painfully insecure and project that onto situations when things dont go as they wish
- hide their feelings just to get along in fear of losing a guy
- allow themselves to be taken advantage of for the sake of contact
- want connectedness so bad they often resort to anonymous sex confusing sex for real intimacy, just to get that sense of being held met
- wall themselves away rather than look at what they can do to change their situation. "I cant meet the right guy, why bother? They will just let me down anyway"

Its interesting and this is merely observational , these are many of the same feelings survivors experience whether str8 or gay. I sometimes think that is why its even harder on gay men who have been abused. I dont know what the stat is, but I suspect its even higher. Likely about 1 in 4 like women. Again completely unscientifically , i was at a dinner party, and i sure as hell did not bring it up , but the issue did. Of 12 guys, 3 had been abused.

So , I think it's more common in the gay world and I think its more difficult for gay survivors do transcend both the abuse effects and just the tangled mess that is both the gay world and that incessant music. Both have a lot of grinding but too few words.


Edited by 1lifenow (06/11/12 04:52 AM)
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The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011