Thank you for your op ed. The Horace Mann abuse was horrendous, as is all the abuse from Penn State to the Catholic Church. Sadly, many like I were silent and allowed the abuse to control our lives, ashamed, guilty, hurt and scared how I would be treated if became known. If I had let the reactions of the first people I told influence my healing, I would have stopped, shut up and gone back and buried this secret--I would have allowed it to continue to rob my life or even kill me. The comments, screams, isolation and lack of a kind word, get help and heal were never expressed, birthdays forgotten-well life does throw us some curves. Rather I continued to be ostracized for acting out, but no one seems to remember the cause of the triggers and pain I suffered and sadly the pain others suffered--being spat on, locked in a room, verbal attacks so similar to the way I felt when being abused--and they say this should have not impact on me, I was committed for a few days, but then tortured with taunts and harsh words--from being called a liar, to tearing apart my T and support groups, to strangers who became supporters--what these wonderful people have been called by those around me is unbelievable and shows their character.
So I understand all too well the fear a victim has to come forward. But thankfully it was through the kindness of strangers and my T that I am healing. I was distant and emotionally detached, confused, allowed others to use me, sort relief of pain in ways unimaginable to me and why and how I am still grappling with, lost time but today I can stand stronger and no longer am I ashamed of the abuse.
One day I will confront the abuser and I will never let anyone around me destroy me, my supporters or my T. They were my life preserver--one day those who have the need to degrade these people may ask themselves why did they have the need to isolate the victim and to attempt to destroy the supporters who saved my life. These are questions for them to answer, and denial may be the way to cope. Only they can answer,I cannot.
Thank you and I feel stronger than I have and I have accepted all abuse towards me and realize it cannot control me.
Edited by KMCINVA (06/08/12 02:36 PM)