Welcome to the site, sorry that you feel you need to be here, but you are in the right place.

Wow, lets start with the first thing. Were you abused? Well what is the definition of abuse It is when "a person who is more sexually mature, has inappropriate relations with a person less sexually mature"
There is no age classification there. I myself was abused to the age of 19. So in my opinion, yes you were the victim of SA.
As for the sexual identity issue, this is shaky ground as everyone seems to have a theory.
There are some experts that believe the sexual identity of a boy is set by the age of 4, so if he is homosexual, then that is pretty much done by that age. After this it becomes what they call imprinting. In other words the child acts out behaviour he has seen or experienced. This does not bring into the picture the cultural, religious and sociological opinions and theories.
Personally I don't think that there has been enough study done on the impact of sexual abuse on sexuality in men.

So what is the answer, and to get to this I need to ask you a question. What makes you happy? You need to try things and see what it is that you want. I know that I was curious, and when I actually tried to have a relationship with a guy it was horrible.

It is not always what you think it will be. Fantasies should sometimes be just that, a fantasy. Once you act on that fantasy you discover that the reality is a lot different to what you thought it would be.

Porn is often a by-product of abuse, we use this as a tool to avoid FEELING and EMOTIONS. Porn like drugs and alcohol is an addiction that has the same effect on our minds. So your use of porn is a tool to zone out of the world and not feel.

To get help, on the main page of MS is a shopping guide to therapists and also a resources page where you can perhaps find a support group in your area. Check it out, but don't leave it.

I hope this helps you, and feel free to PM me at any-time.

Yours in healing
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