I'm hoping that some one here has had a similar experience and can give me advice, or a survivor has a different way of looking at the situation and can explain it to me.
I've been with my partner a little over 4 years. When we were about 2 1/2 years into our relationship, I brought up the topic of marriage. I expressed my desire to want to marry him and he started having anxiety issues and lashing out at me whenever I brought up the topic. He would go into these uncontrollable fits of anger, during which he would express feelings of worthlessness. I couldn't understand it and asked that he see someone about anger management. This led to more stress since he is without health insurance.
6 months after this, he went to the local health clinic for help with anxiety. He started seeing a social worker, and that's when he decided to reveal that to her that he a CSA survivor. He was 25 when he revealed this and it happened when he was around 7 or 8 at the hands of a college-aged male neighbor. The social worker was the first person he had ever told, followed by me. He went through 6 weeks of therapy (including EMDR) with her, and that's when his "allotted" time was up. Now he can deal with the memories without the amount of anxiety and emotions that it once brought about.
Now he's going to a local non-profit that helps helps survivors of rape, incest, and CSA. I'm hoping that this will help him out, but I'm starting to grow weary of hearing him tell me that he loves me, but he's not ready to commit to marriage until he's "right with himself." I want what's best for me, and for him, but I worry that he's never going to want to get married. I gave him my boundaries, which were that I will not stay in a relationship that has no promise of a resulting marriage. I also told him that I want him to seriously think about us getting married and we'll talk about it at the end of the summer. I feel strongly about holding my bottom line, but I worry about his well being if I do so. Will he be ok if the only person he's trusted enough to tell about the CSA leaves him? I'm so confused...