See I guess that one of my problems is I am here but I don't feel like I'm really here, I can't concentrate, I have all theses questions that I am trying to sort in my head all at the time, I am dealing with PTSD, SAD, Depression, my nerves are shot, I physically shake from wake to sleep and I only sleep 4-5 hours a sleep at night despite taking sleeping medication.

The only support I have is my Psy & therapist that I see every 2 weeks and you guys. I have my wife who has been a great source of support but I can't talk to her about everything, cause she has no idea any of the answers.

I am trying to come to terms with my sexuality while being married to a woman and trying to be the best straight acting husband and father I can be.

I can't deal with my life right now, I am still trying to work in a store with hundreds of faces looking at me every day, people tapping their toes or fingers at me, people getting bitchy waiting on other people that take forever, and of course the people who try to figure me out.

I'm sorry if I come across desperate, clingy, confused, needy etc. I am just trying desperately to understand who I am and who I was meant to be and how to deal with everything in between.