My own identical twin bro with almost same experience, completely same DNA and same environment find himself as part of gay community. Evidently we humans are very heterogeneous species and simple approach is not possible in these matters.
I agree its not simple and not black and white.
I'm glad that SSA clicked for you. It did for me too a few years back. I know that feeling of identification with naming feelings SSA.
And more, much more, the heart may feel,
Than the pen may write or the lip reveal.
Winthrop Mackworth Praed