i'm a 34 year old boy trapped in a man's body. the abuse began when i think i was 11 and continued to around 15. i don't know for sure. it was by an older brother and he did the same thing to one of my sisters. right now i'm married and have 2 sons and i'm trying to make sense of everything. i don't know if i'm gay or straight. all of my choices in life seemed to have been dictated to me by my family. i'm tired. i need to find me. i know i'm worthy of being loved but that means that i have to trust-i can't do that. i feel alone. i read these other stories and i cry inside. i understand the pain, agony and loss of self. i need to talk to other men who know what i'm going through. maybe we can get through this nightmare.