So your mom had a lot on her plate too. No excuse for not reaching out to support you FULLY. Still being a mom doesn't make us any better (or worse) than any other human being. I think most sexual abuse cases involve the three-way conspiracy you describe. And many also involve the fear of losing the "good life" whether that means fear of breaking up a family or fear of how a parent and child can survive on their own. They are understandable fears even if they should never ever take precedence over protection of innocent children. It's interesting how many people say they hid the truth for fear of hurting people they loved. Why aren't we convincing our kids that their health, safety, dignity come first and lose of them is what can truly destroy a parent.