Maybe I am not the one to give you advice, especially when those who are in the same shoes as you are already doing so much to support you. I do believe--as I used to tell you when you were a child--you have to keep on truckin' NEVER give up; never stop believing that things will get better. Love the analogy of a man recuperating from an amputation--guess in a sense you had your childhood amputated. (I also agree that "normal" isn't all it's cracked up to be. The greatest minds in history were often deemed "cracked) But no matter what factors have scarred us, our internal fortitude, our spirit can be bolstered by the support of others, hard work and knowledge. In your case, internalize the knowledge that you are so very very dear to many people at least in part because you are truly a kind-hearted man with looks and an abundance of intelligence and wit. You are very very worthy of our love and respect and admiration as you recover.