Thank you so much for taking a moment to offer words of encouragement. I do have to say that I am feeling encouraged because we have finally joined hands to work through this and because so many men here have been willing to share with us.
As a mother, it seems I feel compelled to try to defend the moms who are mentioned here as less than 100% supportive. So many factors play into a mom's response. I shouldn't play amateur psychologist but---maybe lack of response is caused by overwhelming guilt that makes it easier to deny it ever happened. After all, a parent's job is first and foremost to protect a child. Knowing that we've failed in that regard is truly awful. Then, too, there may be the emotional need to remove oneself from the situation in order to live past it. I fear that when my son first told me, I was more distant than I should have been. Too much to take in all at once. I'm glad he had the guts and/or determination to come back to me with it. NONE of this is easy for anyone-- which in NO way minimizes the pain of the survivors. I've watched that pain constantly for years even when I didn't know where it came from but, of course, I can't really walk in your shoes.
What I can do is send you LOADS of wishes for strength, courage, and love in your own life.