Thank you, Peroperic. You are wise to know that being a mother doesn't stop just because a child becomes an adult. And if it is true that I really couldn't have known, then maybe I'm not a failure as a human. But I'm not giving myself an "A" for effort, I can assure you!
I found the link your provided very helpful. Once of the things that had troubled me was my reaction when my son first told me. I wasn't angry at the "perpetrator." It didn't seem that a lifelong fondness for a child I had watched grow up could instantly turn to anger. And then I was very angry at myself for my lack of feeling. The link you sent pointed out that shock and denial are often mothers' first reactions. I think there may be some "dissociation" involved, too. It's different today; I'd like to wring the young man's neck.
Since it doesn't look as if there are mothers on this forum to help me work through this, may I ask male survivors for some help? I'd like to know if men who experienced repeated sexual abuse from childhood to adolescence typically experience debilitating depression--depression that sends them to bed for weeks, that prevents them from finishing school or holding jobs for a long time? And if that does happen, do those men manage to recover? Finally, what are your suggestions for how I can best help my son to heal?
Thank you for being my "support group" although it is I who should be offering an abundance of support to all of you.