When I was 19 or 20 I tried to tell my mother about the abuse but her response was that she "couldn't hear it" due to her going thru her "own stuff" at the time. Later in my life she brought it up in the context of my drinking, which felt manipulative to me, as in she only raised it as a way of trying to get me to stop. Now years later I am newly sober and working on my recovery from SA in earnest yet we don't talk about it at all. I don't bring it up to her and she doesn't with me, which suits me just fine since given my past experience it feels like talking to her about what happened to me as a kid is only acceptable if it suits her agenda. Forgive me, I love my mother, and we get along otherwise, but I am not going to put myself in a position of being vulnerable with her about something so difficult and personal only to be rejected or feel used for some other agenda like I did in the past.