...a rekindled relationship with the man who sexually abused him when he was 11. That's all part of a pattern I am convinced we are almost doomed - sentenced - to repeat over and over again. I read about those who would gladly hurt, maim or even kill their molester.....
chase eric, i wish my desires were aligned by what winston wrote, for perhaps it would mean i had less anger at the time of rape. i "fantasize" that somehow a rape could have been part of something greater and smarter and emotional other than mind control. instead, i'm in the "kill" or revenge camp as adult and secretly applaud those guys brave enough to carry out revenge. meanwhile, there are 20 and 30 somethings online today who want a "dad," which repulses me simply because i'm the age of their fetish, and i'm beginning to think that desire is just their sentence from the pedophile.
but my sentence (at 47 and forever single) is to just become what society coins as "dirty old man" who can only find pleasure in online porn and no human contact.
so maybe my fetish is just the opposite of this thread. rather than find a dadish/incest figure for sex and comfort and protection, i seek an "equal partner" who will battle life with me as we support each other behind that white picket fence.... in the end, neither fetish is based in reality, in my view, but it is what keeps us going.