esposa,

sorry that you are going through that...

a lot of survivors seem to have problems in their social skills. they were never taught proper social skills. they grew up in an abusive home and abuse is all they knew. to them that is what a lot of them would see as normal every day life. that is until they get therapy for their issues and realize that what they went through isn't normal and have to learn social skills at such a late stage in life...

now, i also believe that you, or any supporter, should not be treated awful by the survivors in their lives. it's definitely a tightrope act... i can see that. on one hand you're trying to defend yourself from being hurt, and on another you're trying to be understanding and supportive... it's tough... i don't blame you for being upset at him for the treatment you have received and/or the breakdowns you might have from being confused on how to deal with the situation...

i guess it comes down to you having to take care of you first. i don't know if you have said/tried this ( i'm inclined to believe you probably have ) however, i'll make the suggestion anyway in that maybe your husband needs to be reminded of it from time to time of letting him know that you love him, that you will support him and be there for him when he needs you to be, but you will not accept being treated awful by him.

_________________________
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