I've had paps every year since I turned 18, and very few sexual partners. I read an article a few weeks ago that corroborate what you say about a test for men on the horizon. Men are almost always asymptomatic. My doctor is a man and I wonder if that makes a difference in his bedside manner. I probably looked distraught. The whole thing was a fog. I found out about he cheating on Sunday and was at the doctor's office on Tuesday morning. I was up all day Sunday and Monday reading about STI's because I couldn't sleep.
Maybe this is God's way of giving us greater sympathy for our partners who also had no say so in their own sexual health. My husband told me a couple of weeks ago that he asked his step brother, the abuser, about the possibility of them contracting AIDS, it was just becoming a mainstream topic around that time. I don't have to imagine that horror, I'm living it.
I became celibate for religious reasons, but I enjoyed the respite from worrying about those things. I didn't know in marriage I'd have to revisit it and not even have celibacy as a viable option.
Wife of a survivor