Hi guys...

Reading the posts on here has finally allowed me to accept that I am not uniquie in how I am feeling or what happened to me. I was not abused as such in the military but joined the Australian Navy to escape 9 years of abuse at the age of 17. I remember during basic training that groups of guys would seem to gather in my room to play thier masturbation games and how they would try and get me to take part with me thinking they could see right through me, as though they were doing it only because of what I was. Living on a warship for over 2 years was also a challenging time. Things did happen but I won't go into details right here right now. I just wanted to thank you guys, I have lived a life of self loathing, drugs and alcohol to cope, and mostly wishing I was dead and until the past 6 months I really had no idea why. Your courage and your strength has given me strength and optimism that the future will be so much better than the past... although I also realise this will not happen over night. So once more thank you and bless you all...

Ian

_________________________
I wonder what a life will be like being able to cope with the horrors of my memories.

Why am I so terrified of the possibility of being happy...