1; How did your partner tell you of his CSA?
We had been together for 3 months. He took me on a romantic trip for my birth day. I wanted to have sex, he couldn't. He then said: I might as well be completely honest with you. Then proceeded to tell me everything. At the time I thought in quite a lot of detail, but actually he was very general about it. He told me he had a very tough time growing up. His dad had abused him sexually and his step-dad had physically abused him too. He said it resulted in a lot of anger and mixed feelings and as a consequence, he did poorly in school, and made bad choices, and he got sent away. he said he wanted to be honest with me because I deserved as much. He said his previous partner didn't believe him when he told her and that had upset him deeply, so he wanted to know soon(ish) how would i take it. He told me: if you now want to leave me I completely understand, but I would be very sad to lose you. At that point my heart broke into pieces, I realized I loved him very deeply, I hugged him, I told him I loved him and we spent the entire night talking about our pasts, under the stars, we saw the sunrise and it was a very beautiful experience for both of us.
2; Did you suspect there was something wrong?
Never, I thought he was the nicest guy I had ever met (I still do.)
3; Did he immediately start a program of recovery?
NOT AT ALL. it took him two years and a lot of arguing and getting fired from his job to get him to think he needed help. But it has changed our lives. It is still challenging being with him but I couldn't even begin to imagine my life without him.