As an incest victim, I do find it offensive for people who were not victims of incest to come out and tell us what our abuse did or didn't cause. Like the OP, I know that the sexual abuse of my older brother caused my later sexual fetishes (though not my homosexuality, and not involving 'older men' as my brother was 1.5 years older than I...) Fetishes are very different from sexual orientations; my homosexuality is also natural, but many other things aren't.

It becomes really hurtful sometimes to have your truths doubted and thrown into the mud by other people's desire to defend themselves and their sexual desires. There is not one 'rule' to cover everyone, you might like older men or have an incest fetish for some other reason, but I don't think that means the OP is wrong about what caused his. Too many people with fetishes want to attack you for bringing up that yours was caused by childhood. And generally, in fact, there are a lot of people out there who want to insist that absolutely nothing at all was caused by our childhood abuse, often because they haven't examined themselves or their own life at all.

It also really bothers me on gay forums when I've seen people talking about how "hot" brother/brother incest is, leaving out the rape, PTSD, blood, depression, ruined lives, lack of consent, dark secrets, etc. that are the reality. Having experienced it and read a lot of REAL older brother incest accounts, I don't think it's sexy.



Edited by Vadrian (10/21/11 05:02 PM)