Thank you, Broken! I am really happy for you. WOW...what courage and clarity and boundaries and loving detachment and more you showed in dealing with your brother!!! Good for you!

Thanks, too, for the reminder about how special I am and that my abuse is not my life. I have been grieving a lot about all of the things I never did when I was younger because I was too depressed and ashamed etc. as a result of my abuse. I mourn the lost oppotunites to have danced, dated, loved/been loved, gone canoeing or rafting, done outdoor stuff with friends, made friends, etc... I have what feels like tons of lonliness and pain and sadness and sometimes feel hopeless that I can ever find true love, ever make friends and have fun with them, ever feel sexually comfortable with myself and others, ever be happy in my life.

I know that I need to keep crying and journaling and doing all the things I can to feel and express those feelings so that I can get past them, but sometimes, it is tough to remember that I still have a life to live and can now do at leat some of the things I missed when I was younger. I am only 45, so, if I am lucky and take care of myself, I could have another 30+ years to live and have fun, etc...

Thanks again, Broken, and keep up the good work!

LanceC