Hi my name is Philip, I am a 30 year old dancer and yoga instructor. I wanted to join this forum because I am so tiered of fighting my pain alone. I am seriously ill and I am now taking measures to get professional help for my PTSD. I have a very dark childhood, I was sexually exploited by my mother and my aunt for the first 13 years of my life. I was also a victim of sexual abuse from outside the family by a very old man that manipulated me by using gifts and money to pressure me into having intercourse with him. I am also a sexworker, I have in the past month "retired" from being a male escort and "erotic bodyworker". I have so much to say but I do not know where to begin. I hope you say hi to me and I am going to try and share more about myself and my experiences. Tonight I have just been depressed and I am feeling so much shame. I dont know what to do.