Healing/Recovery is it even possible?

Dictionary definition of to heal

verb (used with object)
1.
to make healthy, whole, or sound; restore to health; free from ailment.
2.
to bring to an end or conclusion, as conflicts between people or groups, usually with the strong implication of restoring former amity; settle; reconcile: They tried to heal the rift between them but were unsuccessful.
3.
to free from evil; cleanse; purify: to heal the soul.
4.
to effect a cure.
5.
(of a wound, broken bone, etc.) to become whole or sound; mend; get well (often followed by up or over ).

Definition of recovery

–noun, plural -er•ies.
1.
an act of recovering.
2.
the regaining of or possibility of regaining something lost or taken away.
3.
restoration or return to health from sickness.


To be honest I’ve been wrestling with the idea is “healing” or “recovery” an attainable goal. I use to use these terms but as time has moved on I’m finding it harder and harder to choke out the words. I’m beginning to replace them with words such as integrate and coexist with. It may sound like I’m saying all that we are attempting to do here is hopeless which would be missing my meaning. I’ve grown so much by the help of others here and at home. I’m experiencing an internal calm I’ve not known my entire adult life. But, I can’t seem to view what is happening inside of me as “healing or recovery”. I’m missing something, for to me in the classic sense there is no recovery or healing from sexual assault. I’m not ever going to be “free from the evil” or “reconcile” with my rapists” I’m not going to “recover what was taken away”, which sounds like I’m saying the situation is hopeless. I know it is not so what am I missing or am I just copping out?

_________________________
Balanced (My goal)

There is symmetry
In self-reflection
Life exemplified
Grace personified