Hey D....
I have thought often about the same thing, and I have also discussed it with my therapist. The place (apartment) where I was assaulted is a twenty minute car ride, or maybe a thirty or thirty five minute bike ride. Last summer I tried to pull into the parking lot, and I couldn't do it. In all honesty I had been avoiding that area totally, but I finally got the nerve to at least pass by. I did that more and more frequently.

So now I have a plan. Within a stone's throw from where I was raped there is a really good pizzeria, from what I've been told. And when biking season starts (any day now), I am going to go there, and treat myself to some good pizza. And then I'm going back to face my demons in that parking lot, and maybe in or near the building itself.

I wasn't ready for that before. But I think I'm ready now. One thing we both have to remember is that we're both safe now. Nothing can hurt us anymore. And while it might be somewhat painful to remember it all, it's nothing like the pain of having it happen as it originally did. And if I can get past that milestone, it will be another step - a really big one - toward recovery.

The other thing I thought about is bringing someone with me. My therapist actually volunteered. I've thought about it. It may work for you to bring someone with you - someone who knows you, and knows what all this is about. Knowing myself, I will probably gut it out alone when the time comes. But it's another idea.

I can tell you this, though. If I'm willing to put myself through this, then that pizza better be good. I'll be pissed if it's not.

Joe