OK.... I'll chime in on this one.

Perhaps my opinion is out of line, because I'm straight. But here's what I think.

First of all, rape is not primarily an act of sex. It is an act of violence, first and foremost. It is an act of control and degradation. Sex is the means that perpetrators use to exhibit those things. For years I thought there must be something wrong with ME. Not so.

I can't see this as a gay/straight issue. If I were raped by a woman, I wouldn't ask myself, "Can one be straight and be a survivor?" The question is being a survivor, period. Clearly a survivor may examine their sexuality, their sexual behavior, and all that. And I think therapy can help in sorting all that out. But I think (at least I hope) that gay guys who have been raped can move forward and lead healthy fulfilling lives.

We're all in it together. Everyone who is a rape victim, male or female, gay or straight, has to analyze how it has affected them. Yes, it affects our relationships, and our lives. But being raped can't make someone gay, any more than it can make a person straight. I think we're all pre-programmed there. Nor does it make the victim a pervert, a psycho, a second class citizen, demented or any of that other shit. It simply makes us victims.

All of us need fulfillment in our personal and sexual lives. Rape can be a major setback to that, but hopefully we can recover, and help/understand other guys who are in this position. In the end, gay or straight.... doesn't matter.

oriolesguy