I identify as gay, and I'm a survivor.
My particular life path landed me in San Francisco at age 20 to go to college.
Before I had moved to San Francisco, I spent many years in my teens struggling with sexual orientation and acceptance and feeling dirty and sinful.
But I did my reading and my homework - homosexual expression happens ALL OVER NATURE. It has happened all throughout history. It's even painted on cave walls from prehistoric days.
Homosexuality is a natural expression of sexuality, period.
Our struggle is to untangle the boundary/self-worth/intimacy/trust/power issues that were thrust on us as kids. Ours is a disease of the Self - our abusers took away from us our god given right to explore our own bodies and our own sexuality on our own time, at our own pace, and of our own free will.
I have come to a complete acceptance of my sexuality - IT DOESN'T DEFINE ME. Just like the abuse NO LONGER DEFINES ME. It is a part of who I am, transmutable, and changing with time and experience. I accept it.
I hope that you can also come to a place of acceptance, regardless if you identify as gay, or straight, or questioning or bisexual. Self acceptance is so important.
Your brother in spirit,
Edited by tdillon (01/18/11 05:59 PM)
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.
Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM