Abuse has "refined" my faith...

I was told what to believe and not to feel. I grew up in church but always knew in my heart that something was wrong !?! I just didn't know what it was. Everything looked one way on the outside... but what was on the inside was pure hell.
If God was real... than why was church so f**ked up?
I prayed and prayed...
God please show me the truth!!!

He did.
It is not easy...
but I have come to know Him
and he watches over me and gives me peace.

Religious institutions are full of sick people...
It made me sick too...

Church has taken on a new identity for me.
It is a very personal thing for me.
I only share my thoughts about it with those whom I trust.
I don't debate religious issues.
But I do fellowship with the real church...
with my bros and sisters
walking the same path as me.

It is very scary... because i feel like I was brain washed...
now im washing my brain!!!
renewing my mind
understanding what is real and what is not.

God is answering those prayers i prayed as a child,
he is giving me wisdom and understanding...
and it is very humbling.

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“When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something’s suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.” Barbara Bloom