I was finally able to get some down time yesterday and really appreciate the experience of the conference. I went out for lunch and found this quiet parking lot overlooking a canyon, played a little Sarah McLachlan, and allowed my emotions to take over. cry

Yes, I admit it; I cried!!! I lost some major Manpoints, not to mention Coolpoints, yesterday. The whole conference was just emotionally overwhelming and I cried tears of joy, hope, and sadness. I'm so happy for learning so much and excited that I have so many things to share with you all.

A survivor's partner attended one of Ken Singer's workshop and shared one of the most profound statements I've heard throughout the weekend. She shared that the more we trust, the less we need to control. It's no secret we survivors have this love-hate relationship with control. We try to control our environment, people, and particularly our emotions. I'm sure you've all realized that it's utterly futile to control the world; but we can change the way we react to things that affect us.

I also had the pleasure of attending one of Joe Kort's workshops. I actually attended it by mistake and I have to admit he's changed since he played Harold from the movie, "Harold & Maude". However, I have to admit I enjoyed what he had to share and presented some very persuasive concepts about how our sexual abuse has influenced and molded our view of intimacy and how we love other people.

One of the highlights for me was just sitting on a park bench in Central Park and just cherishing that moment in that awesome atmosphere. The sun was shining, people were just chillaxin or exercising, and it was just serene. I visited Times Square but I was just overloaded with all of the lights and facades. It reminded me of Vegas - so much glitter but it lacked substance and depth. More to come doods... I'm just gettin' started.

cool

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"I like helping people out because I want to be seen as selfless."