This is a very honest and brave thread. Thanks, guys. I'll just add that although I have not been in an intergenerational relationship, the daddy/son fantasies have been a big thing for me over many years. Because my sexual trauma involved my mother, I think I've invested a lot in fantasies of an older man who can care for me, make me feel safe, all of that. In fact I still have sexual fantasies about my 6th grade (male) teacher. He was a kind of Marlboro Man image of masculinity and I hero-worshiped him as an 11-year old. He was the only man during my childhood who really did seem to care for me and whom I always felt wanted to protect me.

Trauma and abuse issues aside, I think these kinds of fantasies are pretty common among gay men, and I think straight men are also drawn to and fantasize about an ideal woman/mother. Not to take anything away from the tragic history you so bravely posted, PSGuy - but you are far from alone.

Thanks again for your rigorous honesty and heal well my brother.

_________________________
Proud survivor and WoR alumnus - Sequoia, April 2010

I want to live in the world
Not inside my head
I want to live in the world
I want to stand and be counted
With the hopeful and the willing
With the open and the strong...

--Jackson Browne, "Alive In the World"