I live in Canada, winter sucks here. This is also when I was the most abused.

Winter sucks really bad for me. I hardly eat, I sleep from 5am to 6pm everyday and when I am awake all I can do is lay on the couch and wish I was either asleep or dead.

I used to drink alcohol heavily to make myself pass out, the doctor gave me anti-anxiety meds, Ativan. I took them ten at a time so I would blackout. Winter is rough for me.

I try my best to keep in good spirits when I am awake in the winter and focus on playing video games, but most of the time I just sit there on the "Start" screen and wish I was dead.

I don't want to live like this anymore.

Try reading philosophy, Foucault, Nietzsche. They have helped me quite a bit and I have (for the most part) stopped hurting myself.

You are not alone my friend.