Welcome to MS Barbi:
You certainly had a rotten start in life. You were a little kid who was virtually destroyed by the insane actions of your own mother. What happened right up until your were 17 or 18 was NOT your fault. Since then what has happened in your life is the direct result of what happened to you when you were younger. Your story is a horrific story of victimization. Some of my own early story is somewhat similar. My parents constantly argued and they were both physically and emotionally abusive towards me from a very young age. While my parents were not sexually abusive of me, I was sexually abused by the age of 5 or 6, and repeatedly by 11 different perps by the age of 18. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone here at Male Survivor.
Glad that you found us. We are a group of guys who are all here working together trying to find our freedom from what was done to us when we were kids. Some of us are still teenagers, and others of us are in our 70s. A number of us have some really terrible stories too. I am here mainly to try to lend the time that I have to try to mentor some of the other guys here who are still struggling. I was fortunate that I found experienced CSA recovery help in the mid-1980s in Cleveland, OH when I still lived there. My recovery was pure hell for many years as I struggled with an extreme illegal drug problem. But in May of 2000, I walked out the door at my last in-person support group, confident that I could take life's little curve balls. Since my years in recovery I have lived a great adult life which has included participating in two consensual LTRs with women who have really loved me. I'm here to tell you that if you work hard enough and long enough, you too can enjoy the rest of your life living your dreams as I have, free of your past as I am.
Welcome to our support group, hope that this is the beginning of the rest of your life. Recovery is possible,
Edited by Trucker51 (11/03/09 11:46 PM)
Edit Reason: add a few words
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark