I'm sorry to even make this Post, but I'm at my wit's end with this.
I know what 'Body Memories' are. Hell, I've been dealing with them for many years now.
But something 'New' has been happening, and I can't find anything Posted/Shared on it.

Please be warned, the following is just,,, gross.

I have nightmares every evening. I wake-up sweating, body contorted, muscles cramped and blood in my mouth from biting either my tongue, or my lips/cheeks in reliving the horrible things that happened to me.

But 'THIS' is something new, and extremely upsetting...

When I was SA'd,,, my body reacted to the rapes by,,,, (aw, hell... There's just no polite way to say this),,, "Expressing/Defecating"...

I wake up now, soiled in my bed...

I HATE excrement! I loathe it, with an obsession that is just,,,, extreme...

I've actually went so far as to obtain 'Adult Diapers', to sleep in...

Damn it!...

HOW much more humility/shame do I have to endure!!!???

I'm terrified to try and talk to a 'New' Dr., that knows nothing about my history (I've moved to an entirely new location, and am trying to rebuild my Life)...

I'm sorry for Posting this...

But I'm desperate, and hope that maybe, just maybe, somebody else has had to deal with this, and might be able to help me with, and overcome it?

:: Shamed beyond words ::

Whicker

_________________________
Esse Quam Videri
(To be, rather than to seem)