Chuckie
you aren't alone out there surfing the porn sites, your posting and The D's reply hit a nerve here. I know how bad it makes me feel.
But it's getting easier for me, and the visists a lot further apart, and that's only with help from my wife and therapist.
And you're so right about kids ( and very big kids )only acting as if they've adapted, we deserve Oscars. It isn't adapting - it's surpressing, and every scrap shared and dealt with is a bit less shit to carry about.
Lloydy

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Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau