Before I start, this could be triggering to some people.
Alright, so I had been thinking about this the other day and it made me wonder. I remember back a few years ago this girl who was my girlfriend at the time and I were having sex for like the second time. We had lost our virginities to each other. I remember I was really excited about the whole thing, and for a while we were just doing a lot kissing etc., and she commented that I was shaking. Sure enough I realized I was shaking all over, and not just a little bit, a lot. Although my abuse was certainly coercive, I never remember it being violent, but would it make me shake years later out of some fear or body memory? On top of that, for a 21 year old I've notice that I chase after people for sex FAR less than all of peers, in fact there are some times when I downright avoid it, and I don't really know what to make of that. Any thoughts?